Tag Archives: ridiculousness

W.T.H.

17 Mar

At my desk at work I have a plywood shelf with quotes on it that people have written on it with a sharpie. In the bottom corner, someone has written “All I have to say is.. W.T.H.”

WTH stands for “What the Haiti” or “Welcome to Haiti”…depending on the day. It refers to the bizarre and random things that happen here, that afford no other response than a shake of the head, a roll of the eyes, a deep sigh. These moments are plentiful here.

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drats…

29 Jan

I’ve come to the sobering realization that we have a rat problem in our bathroom. I’ve known this was coming. I’ve lived with the illusion that the little terdlets were maybe from a small hummingbird, or yellow jacket, a sweet songbird whose poops I wouldn’t mind.

Tonight, I caught glimpse of them. This is the first time in a few months my naked eye captured a glimpse. I went out to our bathroom, which is detached from our cement block of a house, and opened the heavy metal door. I jumped back a bit when I saw 6 beady black eyes blinking back at me….It appears to be a trio of snide brothers, each with their own destructive agenda. It looked for a moment like they were going to bolt, but then they changed their mind and just looked at me from on top of my laundry tub. They sat back, kicked their feet up as if to give me the finger, and continued blinking and squeaking. Obviously my small presence in the doorway of my cellar-like bathroom was unimpressive. I cleared my throat.  “I’m sorry,” I said with a calm sarcasm. “Am I interrupting your gathering?”

They gave an audible rodent sigh, bothered that I’d come in and disturbed their planning session, which no doubt covered topics  such as “how to chew strategic holes into Justin’s favorite pants” and “stealing the top off the only nice body wash Roseann brought”. They scurried off, their little toenails tap-tapping into the night over our rafters.  Along the way they practically somersaulted and clicked their heels over our mouse traps. The traps, which were purchased here, apparently have a faulty spring and after a blur of movement they slowly creak shut. Quite effective. Last time we will be buying rat traps in the Cabaret street market for 10 cents.

I imagine a bounty of toiletries and personal belongings lining their little nest, or wherever their intrusive little beings find their way back to after wreaking havoc in my bathroom. I envision them retiring for the night onto a lovely little mattress woven together with remnants of my underwear, floss, soap and pants.And when it’s time for them to go number two in the middle of the night, they assuredly make their way to my sink… just to show me how much they care.

Sigh. I hate rats.

jumbles of numbers

25 Jan

Most days things are pretty jumbled up here. I thought about the sheer amount of ridiculous things that happen in a day, and it made me shake my head. Absolutely never a dull moment. Here is a taste of the last few days, in numbers:

  • 4:  number of car accidents in 4 days… no one seriously injured but still, one a day was a bit much
  • 2: amount fingers that were lost when one of our Haitian carpenters had an accident with a skill saw..yeah, bad news
  • 30: number of minutes that gun shots whizzed past our treatment center in Cite Soleil the other night when Justin was working
  • 5: number of hours we were on lockdown due to manifestations because of Baby Doc’s return and other nonsensical political activities
  • 2: number of precious grandchildren that were taking care of their grandmother who was sick with cholera.. warmed my heart (below)
  • 400: number of kids that attend school in a nearby orphanage we’ve been helping- how can that many kiddos fit into a  space that small?
  • Approx 20: minutes I blew bubbles with Plumpy yesterday
  • 1: number of flip flops I have broken;
  • 4: number of times Justin has told me I brought too many shoes
  • 6: amount of guys Justin is watching Terminator2 with tonight
  • 3: loads of laundry I’ve done to keep up with bleaching the clothes we wear to the clinics
  • 2: amount of rats I think we have living in our bathroom and as a result: 1: pair of underwear has been chewed through; 2: bars of soap have disappeared; and 5: amount of rat terdlets I had to clean off our sink today

Yes, it’s a glamorous life here….